The worst truth in this life is that the true monsters don’t live in horror movies or paranormal novels.  They live in reality.  Most of the time they look nice and they often come in the guise of temptation.  Some of the biggest monsters today are internet scammers and this year alone Romance internet scammers have been able to take over 15,000 people for a net total of $230 million dollars.  They come to us like lovers when we are lonely and they take you for everything you’ve got.  So I decided to have a little fun with the most recent scammer to try to play with me and see if I could get him to give me his eternal soul.  

Like many women these days, I have noticed a significant increase in  men sending me love letters and pictures of their genitals.  The love letters usually start on social media and the men tell me I am the one for them.  They have been following me on facebook, twitter, Instagram, whatever and they love everything about me.  I am beautiful.  I am unlike anything they have seen before.  For a long time I just deleted these obvious scams, but lately I have been playing a little game.  I call it Buying Souls for Cthulhu.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with the work of the brilliant horror writer, H.P. Lovecraft, he was one of the most influential horror writers in history.  His work has inspired Clive Barker, Stephen King, Guillermo Del Toro and countless others.  His most famous creation was the elder god, Cthulhu.  Merely looking upon this sleeping god could drive you insane.  He has a cult, of course, and he loves devouring souls.  I thought I would help him a little by collecting a few souls for him and making myself laugh.

So I got this lovely scammer, evansphilip060, on Instagram.  He is a personal trainer who is covered with tattoos and has a beautiful body but seems to periodically forget he has tattoos. He forgets what he looks like and where he is from, but he sure adores me.   His English is terrible but he is from Georgia and he just needs $20,000- $100,000 to build his dream gym station in Atlanta and then we can finally be together and consummate our love. After playing a long for a week, I finally agreed to fund Mr. Philips gym on the condition that he join my church. The Church of the Golden Dawn (A reference to the Order of the Golden Dawn).  He very quickly agreed to give his soul to my god if I could help him with his finances.  He also asked if I could give him some money on an iTunes card because his phone wasn’t working. He sent me the picture to the left to prove to me that he went in the woods at night and said words giving his eternal soul to the great lord Cthulhu.  After he sent me the picture, I confronted him and asked him why he does this.  He was steadfast in his insistence that he was not a scammer but his broken English only made it more clear that he was a scammer. The conversation that follows is below. 

I must admit.  I had far too much fun with this and am overjoyed that Mr. Phillips loved me enough to pledge his eternal soul to the cult of Cthulhu for me.  La! La! Chtulhu Fhtagn!  Long live Cthulhu and shame on all these scammers that work so hard to con lonely women out of money.  The worst part isn’t even the money.  They break the women’s hearts so I am happy to give all their hearts to Cthulhu.  He will know what to do with them.  

The truth, however, is that after I did significant online research, I found that these men have been able to con women out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Some women have lost everything.  These cons are very common and they are quite cruel, so if someone tells you they are falling for you online, be careful.  Never send anyone you have never met money.  Do a reverse image search on the images used in their account and make sure the images match the names that come up.  The internet is full of scammers.  Be careful with your heart and your money.

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