After some careful consideration and quiet introspection, I have changed course on my opinion of whether the cryptozoological entity known as “Sasquatch,” also known as “Bigfoot,” is an actual creature wandering the forests of North America or just a figment of our collective imagination. I now firmly believe Bigfoots are real, and that we all owe them a sincere apology.

This change of heart was sparked by a story that appeared on the Tribune’s website describing a reported “Squatch” sighting in the western Upper Peninsula. A resident of the Menominee area captured an image of what he believes to be a Bigfoot on his trail camera. 

The image shows the silhouette of a large, stocky creature (rarely seen in the UP) through a thick stand of trees. The incident was so compelling that a team of “Squatchers” from a TV show on basic cable paid the guy a visit. They were convinced the sighting was genuine (not that they were predisposed to think that way). Their investigation also convinced me it was real, and it also made me realize that maybe the reason Bigfoots have chosen to remain hidden is due to the fact we haven’t made them feel very welcome.

Bigfoot is often described as an extremely hairy, foul-smelling, ape-like humanoid that grows up to 15 feet tall and weighs up to 800 pounds. It’s known for moving silently through the forest, and when it does make noise, it does so either by banging a stick against a tree or verbalizing with a sound often defined as a “high-pitched” squeal. Footprints found in the forest have measured up to 24 inches in length. Big, indeed.

In other words, the creature known Sasquatch is a hirsute, inarticulate, awkward being with a weight problem and body odor issues who is likely self-conscious about the size of its feet and the sound of its voice. No wonder why it hides in the woods and avoids humans at all costs. That description sounds less like a scientific account and more like something a middle-schooler would write about a classmate in an uncharitable Instagram post.

That’s why I would like to take this opportunity to make amends and offer a heartfelt apology to any literate Bigfeet that may happen to come across this column, whether by reading an improperly recycled copy of today’s paper blown into the woods by an autumn wind or on a smartphone dropped by a Tribune reader who met with misadventure while on a hike in the woods or sitting in a tree stand.

I am truly sorry, and I hope you’ll find it in heart to forgive us. I know there’s room in there. It’s probably the size of a volleyball.

Mark Birdsall is a Huron Daily Tribune staff writer who wants to believe and knows the truth is out there. Email him at or follow him on Twitter at @MarkEBirdsall.

Read More On This At

“Cryptozoology” – Google News